The Rest is History

Wow, have I gotten busy. 

I was going back through my blog and when I started I was posting almost daily or at least multiple times a week. 2011 hits and there are a couple blogs here and a couple blogs there. Being a mom is a lot of work and being a mom and full time student is even more work! Last year though, all I did was sit around and watch my belly grow. This year I am chasing a baby around! Amazing what only ONE year can do. 

Amazing what two, three and even four years can do! Five short years ago I was just starting college, I was young, immature and had no idea what I was doing. Now, I am a mother, wife and graduating in December. I hope to one day work as a school counselor or get into social work but as of now I am happy with being a mom, wanting nothing more to focus on only that. Crazy what a couple years can do to a person. I was not always the person I am today. Don't get me wrong I do not regret my past; my mess-ups, my relationships, my foolishness... I believe all those things made me the person I am today but sometimes I shake my head at the "old me."

Let me reveal a little bit of me: My first year of college was exciting. I was out of my dad's house, I had no rules and I lived on school campus. I started to party, I started to drink, I started to become careless. I failed my first semester of school; I was not studying, I skipped classes and I cared to much about my social life to focus on my education. I had a boyfriend, we had been dating since high school. He was the whole reason I stayed in Las Vegas, I thought if I stayed and finished school there then eventually he would follow me to San Diego, where I had always wanted to come since I was a little girl. I started to realize I was wrong. The drinking and partying got me into trouble. I had friends, girls and guys and one guy that I thought of as a best friend. However, one night after fighting with my boyfriend and drinking shots of who knows what he tried to take advantage of me, I was scared and felt so alone. That is when I knew I was foolish. I knew he was never my friend and he had always hoped to get something more from me. I realized that I knew this all along and I risked everything I had anyways. After this I went into a deep depression. A secret depression. 

From the outside, I do not think you could tell but the inside was torn and hurt. I started to cut and self inflict harm. I would drink to hide the pain and party to pretend everything was fine. I thought about suicide and really believed my life would be easier if I was gone. I would have no worries, no hurt and no confusion.

But then I found God. 

One Sunday, my dad decided to go to church. I had always been a believer but had not been an active believer for a long time however, it had always been a desire for my dad to seek out the Lord but he never did. Until that day. My great grandfather had passed away and my dad knew there had to be more to life. So we got up that morning and went to church. My dad got called out of the audience and he got saved right before my eyes. It was a miracle. I cried and I knew that I had to change my life because if I did not I would be stuck exactly where the Devil wanted me to be. 

God called me to San Diego (where I was always meant to be) and I put up a fight. I knew if I went I would have to leave everything, break up with my high school boyfriend, leave my friends and leave everything I ever knew. 

But it was them or my life. 

So I obeyed. I came to San Diego alone, and for 6 months had no one but the Lord to talk to and rely on. He became my best friend and the love my life. I heard his voice as clear as day. We would have conversations, he would hold me when I cried and he would be joyous with me when I was happy. 

The rest is history. I have my husband, I have my son and most importantly i have the Lord. Thank you Jesus!